NO: cultural diffs

[Jean Marc Azerad]

Oli,

I fully agree with Fred. Using first name is a lack of respect in many european countries. 
Only when people get to become friends, they allow each other to be called by the first name.
Something like "Would you mind if I'd use your first name ?", "Could you call me  by my first name ?"
And, by the way, it may not be reciprocal in many situations.

Exception are families, of course, and "same level" co-workers (but not always).

In those countries there is a strong separation of "Working life" and "Professional life"
Some "familiarities" are considered as unacceptable intrusions in ones private life.

Business mails (or emails) may be shown to someone else so they must give the impression to be strictly business, not to let any possible interpretation of some kind of personal relationship or collusion !

Not easy to manage that when it is not your own culture.

JM


Le 28 déc. 2010 à 09:45, Fred Brinkman a écrit :

> Especially in the French part of Belgium it is 'good manners' to not call everybody by the first name, staff will almost never call their 'bosses' by the first name, a bit like in Germany where politeness forbids this. It is considered not done...
> 
> In English you don't have a 'polite' form. it's always 'You', no matter who you're talking to. in most other languages there's a 'formal You' and a 'common You'. When I talk to people I don't know, or who are older than I am f.i. I always use the 'formal you'... matter of respect... I expect them to do the same...
> 
> Maybe this sounds old-fashioned to you but that's the way it is... it surely is no 'joke' or 'contempt' or 'suppressed anger', it's a respectful way of dealing with others.
> 
> Fred.
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> Fred Brinkman
> www.euromnis.com
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> Op 28 dec 2010, om 09:20 heeft Olafur Gardarsson het volgende geschreven:
> 
>> Using title such as Mr. and last name is one way of being formal. What do
>> you consider formal? I should not let this annoy me. I guess it's touching
>> on ideas about economic and social classes. Touchy subject for many,
>> including me it seems.
>> 
>> Oli
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 2010/12/27 Fred Brinkman <fred.brinkman at euromnis.com>
>> 
>>> well. I live in Brussels... what do you call 'formal in communications'?
>>> not calling people by their first name?
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Fred Brinkman
>>> www.euromnis.com
>>> 
>>> **********************************************
>>> Fred Brinkman Consultancy
>>> B-1000 Brussels
>>> 
>>> Tel. +32-474-83 80 80
>>> Fax +32-2-330 10 31 (on request)
>>> Email fred.brinkman at euromnis.com
>>> *********************************************
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
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>>> Op 27 dec 2010, om 22:45 heeft Olafur Gardarsson het volgende geschreven:
>>> 
>>> I have some Belgian customers that are annoying me no end. They insist
>>>> that
>>>> I be formal in all communications with them, even in email's. Is this
>>>> important in Belgium in general? I feel like I'm talking to a relic from
>>>> the
>>>> 19th century. Over here we dropped all formalities in address over half a
>>>> century ago. Now days it's considered either a joke or a way to show
>>>> contempt or a show of suppressed anger. What's the story in your country?
>>>> 
>>>> Oli
>>>> Iceland
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